Adding new house members

Joining a collective house can be easy and fun!  But it hasn't always been this way. Talking to different collective house members reveals that determining criteria for a good home is important to seekers on both sides of the merger. This takes time and experience and community members have all been refining their processes as they go.

Here are some sample criteria for those seeking a house as well as those seeking a member. Some sample 'advertisements' can be added to this discussion. Using a 'mind map' of values can provide good visual information and it's fun to make.  This list can be revised by copying into a new posting.

Collective house seeking a new member - listing and subsequently asking about all factors explicitly will save time for the house and disappointment for members looking to join.

Critical values: the things you can't live without, even for a short time

eg. Friendliness, no proselytizing, rent must be paid on-time in full or we all risk being evicted (or delinquent members will be fined, or whatever the explicit case might be).

Fun: this one is critical

Fun can be had together or individually, but must be had by all!  Most houses have a lot of fun engaging in figuring out their house stuff and participating in community.

Other important categories: in cases where one of these examples is critical, it would appear in the first category instead.

Food: shared supplies? shared cooking? eating together? how much and how often?

Finances: at least the basics of how costs will be split including a plan for responding to shortfalls, detailed accounting systems if desired

Cleaning: who will do it? how often? one house mentioned having a chore rotation with understudies in case of 'mental health days'.

Noise: when are quiet times? how much and what kind of noise is fine?

Drug use: which kinds are present? which kinds are acceptable? how much is occasional?

General habits:

eg. we can accommodate children and animals (up to about 5 of each),  we have a pretty casual adherence to quiet times, our member has a sugar sensitivity and won't thrive if surrounded by junk-food.

Member seeking a collective house - new members are more often the respondent to an ad and will communicate their personality and preferred activities as opposed to their criteria for a shared house.  But knowing, themselves, what criteria are important allows them to keep criteria in mind when evaluating a collective. 

Critical values: the things you can't live without, even for a short time

eg. Friendliness, physical safety, freedom to host bi-weekly dinner guests, I use the following drugs: xxx

Fun: past experiences of collective fun, barriers to having fun (eg. being around a lot of shouting, having the TV on in the kitchen).

Other important categories:

eg. I'd love to share my books but prefer you ask each time. Can we build a bike shed? I'm sensitive to scents. I would love to live with a pet or two.

General habits:  - the ones that might impact housemates

eg. I cook with legumes, my sister might come visit me for a week, I bake cakes for fun

This is also the time for all parties to consider what they would do if things don't work out. Creating new collaborations is a delicate process which sometimes requires a 'do over' with different members.  The collective is at once stronger and more fragile than individuals, diads and families living on their own - there are more caretakers in the home, but also more potential rough edges.  Learning to match needs and resources peaceably is a goal of the work of establishing a house.